Sleep tight, British children. Your night lights are powered by ghosts. 


"You go on a first date, but like the minute the date starts you’re like, ‘Oh my god, this person is amazing.’ You just feel, like, safer with them than you’ve ever felt and you’re just connecting in a way that you didn’t even know you could connect with somebody. And then you’re sort of just talking and you want to tell them everything about yourself and they’re telling you everything about them and it’s like, interesting to you and you just want to keep hearing it and keep absorbing everything. And then all of a sudden dinner’s over and you’re like, ‘You wanna go get a drink?’ and she’s like ‘Yeah’ and you go get a drink, and you’re just talking and sharing and you find out about her family and her fears and her dreams and you’re giving yours up. And then the bar closes and you’re like, ‘You wanna come over?’ And she’s like ‘Yeah!’ But it’s not sexual, you just don’t want the night to end. So you just sit there at the kitchen table and you talk all night, and you share. And you’re like, ‘Oh my god. This is the love that I’ve heard about in songs, and read about in books, and seen in movies, this is like — this incredible thing that I thought only existed in fiction and now it’s happening to me.’ And then all of a sudden the sun comes up and she’s like ‘I have to go!’ and you’re like ‘Don’t go!’ and she’s like ‘I have to go.’ ‘Don’t goo!’ ‘I have to go!’"  - Seth Meyers (via falulatonks)


Seth: On Sunday, the Broadway musical Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark set a new record for the most preview performances ever without actually opening. The previous record was held by my first girlfriend, Catholic Suzie.

Seth: On Sunday, the Broadway musical Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark set a new record for the most preview performances ever without actually opening. The previous record was held by my first girlfriend, Catholic Suzie.